Tom Landry

I want to get this saved before it goes the way of Coleridge's Xanadu vision. As I pondered weak and weary the disgusting Philadelphia win over the Giants yesterday, I began to think of a conversation Tom Landry might have had with God once upon a time.

The two were discussing the immoral disintegration of society and of Philadelphia in particular. God tells Tom that he has decided to destroy Philadelphia because it has ceased to have anything good to offer the world. Mr. Landry, being the compassionate man that he is, begs the Lord to spare the city.

"God," he says, " if I can find 50 Dallas Cowboys fans in the city, will you spare it?"

"Yes, I will spare the city for 50 Cowboys fans," says God.

So the story goes. Tom asks God it he will spare the city for 40, 30 or even 10 fans. God agrees that if even 10 fans are found in the lost city of Philadelphia, He would spare the city for those 10 Cowboys fans.

Well they could not be found. Leaflets were dropped in the city urging the few possible noble Dallas fans that might still be found to evacuate the city. No one heeded the warning. Fire and sulfur rained from heaven and Philadelphia was destroyed.

A week later. Tom was poking through the rubble of the ruined city, shaking his head at the tragedy. God places his hand on his shoulder to comfort him. Tom kicks up a pile of ash and it disappears on the breeze.

God asks Tom, "what then should we do then with Washington?"

Tom looks into God's face with fire in his eyes.

Tom says simply, "Fry em!"